Day 3: The Art of Bargaining in Saigon

It’s my third day here and I’m loving it. I don’t know why I’ve resisted going for 30 years. My typical day starts with a Café Sua Da in the morning. I then pretend to help my Chu 3 fix bikes until lunch time. We order Pho or Com Tam and some more Café Sua Da from the multitude of small vendors that deliver straight to our front door in less than 5 minutes. Then at night we drive downtown for more Café Sua Da and shopping.

If New York is the city that never sleeps, then Saigon is the city that never stops selling. Everyone is selling something. And everyone is smarter than you…especially the kids.

My goal tonight is to pretend that I am not Viet Kieu, so that I don’t get scammed when shopping. That plan ends even before I open my mouth when I try to buy a helmet by myself.

Here’s how my attempt at bargaining went with a precocious 14 year-old boy on the streets of Ho Chi Minh. (Keep in mind: This conversation was entirely in Viet, so I might have gotten some of the facts incorrect.)

• Me: "How much for that red helmet?"
• Kid: "60,000 dong, anh." (I love how everyone is so polite here.)
• Me: "I just saw you charge 40,000 for the same helmet."
• Kid: "60,000 is the Viet Kieu price, anh."
• Me: "How do you know I’m Viet Kieu?"
• Kid: "Anh, you are fat and plump like a Viet Kieu. And look at how white you are. You are either from Canada or you’re the biggest Cong Tu Bot I’ve ever seen." (The kids here are so cute and smart! Too smart.)

I use my "pretend to lose interest and walk away" strategy, but the kid doesn’t care and let’s me leave empty handed.

Fortunately, I’m joined by my cousins Van and Loan and they are able to get me two helmets for 70,000 at another place, with a kinder kid. But Van and Loan are not the best bargainers either because they both look tall and white skinned like Hong Kong movie stars.

Van tells me that vendors in Saigon couldn’t care less if you walk away from them and are harder to bargain with because the prices are already pretty close to the right amount. He tells me that it will be easier to bargain in Da Lat.

It’s great advice, but from now on I’ll be leaving the bargaining to family members…at least until I lose a few pounds and get a better tan.